LongDistanceDread's Datingish

I feel

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:51:12 GMT

like my entire world is collapsing. It sounds so teenage-melodramatic, but I have given him everything, and he ruined it.

Ouch

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:32:38 GMT

J: well i have a reason for avoiding you
S: that being?
J: im talking to another girl

Just Now

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:53:25 GMT

S: hey
S: will you just answer?
S: please?
S: even just once?
S: come ON
S: not even once?
S: this is ridiculous.
S: one response, so i'm at least sure you're ALIVE.
J: .
J: im sorry
S: Are you serious?
J: ?
S: do you know about worrying?
S: for all i know, you could have been dead and in the ground.
J: im fine
S: k
J signed off at 9:51:50 PM.

I Guess

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:40:12 GMT

we broke up? I can't say for sure, but usually when we do, he doesn't talk to me. Doesn't answer the phone, doesn't respond to instant messages.

Whatever. It's pretty sad when the younger person is more mature.

First Meeting

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 15:54:40 GMT

The date is set, although I'm skeptical: September 13th. I guess we are going to the Park Festival in my town.

I am nervous beyond belief. What will I do when I see him? What if we don't have anything to talk about?

More on this later.

sighs

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 10:06:28 GMT

You know, this shouldn't be a cause for nostalgia, but something is happening to a teenage girl on Myspace. My friend Sarah apparently met a boy (actually, a man. He's 20, according to her) on Myspace, and from the looks of it, she has "fallen in love with" him. (Her display name is something to the effect of: I really want to meet you. Heart heart heart.)

Not thinking at all about the things that annoy me, (see last post) I sent her a message telling her to please be careful. She said, "I know, so many people tell me that. I know [boyman] isn't like that."

It wasn't long after that I saw this bulletin: "[Boyman] did you delete me or is this some kind of computer glitch?" When I opened it, "Why won't u talk to me????????????????"

Oh, how I feel for the girl. I know she hasn't had a boyfriend aside from this one, and what a terrible asshole he turned out to be.

Once when J and I were still in high school I got really mad at him for something and sent him a really nasty message. It was the first time I ever swore in front of him, and the combination must have been a shock. He deleted me from his friends list immediately, and for the first time, I saw him as something besides a totally nice guy. My poor self-esteem, he had said he would never leave me! my 15-year old self cried.

*hugs* to Sarah.

How an LDR Looks to an Outsider

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:50:59 GMT

I hate the way most people react when I tell them that I have never met J in person.

They are any of the following:

Horrified - They think what I'm doing is dangerous and fraught with unnamed perils. If I meet him in person, he is going to attack/rape/kill me, so I should just break up with him because I could have any guy I want/I can find someone I already know in person.

Ignorant - "So you met this guy online? What, in one of those smutty chatrooms or something? Or a dating site? How do you know he's not lying about his age/location/etc? He's probably cheating on you. That always happens in long distance relationships."

Unusually Interested in the Details - "So... do you guys... y'know? On the phone or a webcam or something? Is it really weird at first? I mean, after three years it must get boring to hear the same thing over and over again."

J and I are planning a meeting for the end of August.
I'm nervous, but excited. I have a lot of precautions to plan though.

A Fine Mess I'm In

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:25:56 GMT

I have been with J for almost three years. Yes, we have both had our doubts and all that jazz. But we are together now and right now I am perfectly happy with him. We are in the middle of planning to meet for the first time next month. Today we even did something I said I would never do on webcam.

Anyway.

There's this other guy that started hanging around my dad's house this month. They have been practicing for a music festival that was this Saturday.

I've been talking to this guy quite a bit in the last three weeks, and suddenly he's asking if he has a chance with me.
I feel kind of sick. He is older than I am.

I just turned 20, and he is almost 23. This feels like a huge age difference, and right now I just feel a bit nauseous.

Also, a little bit guilty. Was I flirting or something? I didn't think so, but then again, I don't really know. J is the only boyfriend I've ever had, and that's not saying much in the physical world.

Ugh.

I'll Cop to

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 20:51:07 GMT

being a coward.

August 18th looms closer and closer and I have yet to mention my ultimatum to J.